I’d want to win silver, in a fashionista way.

So since my waking hours are filled with day dream, and the Olympics has replaced the Kardasians as being omni-present in American culture, I spent a good amount of time imagining how I would cry (BECAUSE of course I would cry) win accepting my medal for first place.

I totally cry like Tonya Harding does/did. Passionately and whilst doing yoga.

Some times I look in the mirror when I cry  (which if often, commercials really get me, Like GET ME) and am scarred, because i look like the inside of a watermelon thats leaking.



But then I realized the gold medals suck.

thats right. Tacky.


and unless you Mr.T

He totally styles his hair to look like Louis James… “But Shelton that makes no sense, that defies the logic of linear time?” you might say… Yeah… Well… time travel whatever.

or Yolandi

She rocks more bling than mr. t. and yeah she makes it look easy

Silver however is Stylish, like italics. 


But there are other reasons silver is better then gold:


 Because they leave room for improvement. LIKE WHAT DO YOU DO after being the best in the world at something, Like there would go all my motivation as there is actually no one in the world better at it then me. And beating yourself, seems both lame and like the plot of a film that could star Jean Claude Van-Damme.

 People will always be telling you they thought you were the best, (which is in a way I think better then knowing you’re the best) Silver will let you give off the airs of a man who is not embittered by his defeat but is humble and accepting. (Which is key because when they make the Turner Life time movie of my life as a silver medalist at the olympics I think it is more inspiring to like not actually taste the full glory, but fall ever so slightly short of it. Like almost being a star is vogue these days.)

  silver  also give you an escape clause in case your life goes tits up and the endorsement deals fall through you can still say, I WAS gonna be some body. Where if you got gold, you sort of were somebody.

Silver goes better with Green and Purple in my mind.

Plus if you cry getting Silver its dramatic, if you cry getting gold, your either overly patriotic or realizing on national television that you no longer have anything to live for as your 21 and have achieved all of your goals.