Tranny youth, Gosling future.

Now I did not ‘claim’ this dick way back when it was in the Micky Mouse Club. In fact the only thing I laid claim too was the Kingdom of Oaken Forrest. (I grew up on oak street, in a forrest, I’m not exactly inspired when it comes to naming kingdoms)

Oaken Forrest was a small kingdom. Really the only people there were me and my crown princess barbie. She was fierce. She was also my Bestie. WE DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER. Which given the fact that I was four, mainly involved running around in the grass and brewing potions in my garden out of crab apples and food dye.

not my barbie, BUT toats fashionable

Later I became all MANLY and totally through her into the woods. I found her years later. A vine had grown through a missing leg and out her arm. It was macabre. I felt like the devil kid in Toy Story. I AM SO ASHAMED that I treated her so poorly. But whatever I was five. And by that point I had out grown barbie and had grown into dressing myself up in red pumps and cocktales dressed. I often wore crowns made of garlands of grass I took off the tires from the lawn mower. THATS RIGHT I was resourceful.

rocking that dress in a vogue off the shoulder fashionista way

But wait what was that claim his dick shit about before this trip down tranny memory lane? Just watch the video Below. That woman is more ferocious than like ANYTHING. she’s my 2012 idol.She’s so fierce that if Ryan was like “Hey, Shelton, I totally want you to be my snuggle monkey for life.” I’d be all like. “Ryan, DREAM FACE, you got to check in with my girl first. She’s CLAIMED you.”

Yeah Ryan Gosling…. Dreamyyyyy

he leaves me blogless