Britney is back so hard

Dear Britney,

Hey, remember the last like 5 years of your career where you did things like this:


Because I remember those days. I remember them fondly. Because I spent a lot of time making fun of you. some times out loud but mainly in my head. I mean you were one more messy public break down away from self sacrifice on the alter of popular culture, and though whilst it is perhaps sad that deep down inside i feel that i am part of some vicious machine which produced your inflated star image only so we could greedily consume your soul whilst your writhed in the public spotlight.

Britney I am sorry. Because you are back so hard in this new video, and so YES you only have like three lines, and true two of those are you just saying your name, and yeah the song totally blows, BUT YOU MOTHER FUCKING JOAN CRAWFORD A DISCO BALL WITH AN AXE. you will forever be a hero to me for that moment alone. it was like watching you embody some sort of mythic queer warrior slaying an over pop saturated gay culture represented as the disco ball, and through its shattering you have returned us to a primal state of unashamed faggotry, ALL WHILST appropriating the concept of bitch, because when you sing i’m not sure there is a comma between Britney and bitch. is it: BRITNEY. BITCH. or Britney, bitch or Britney bitch. or even Brittany bitch? DOES IT MATTER. no. no it does not.

so yeah gurl, way to kill it. and Wil.I.AM i’m sorry you still suck and this song blows, and no I will never think in the club when this song comes on OH i hope they turn it up, because i shall be too busy choosing the 3 minutes of your song life as the correct time to piss.


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