I’m absolutely terrified that the world is currently falling apart. I read the news almost compulsively now, imaging that I will come across some seemingly innocuous news story and know that it is time to begin frantically prepping for the end of the world as we know it.
The inner horder in me is thrilled by this. The part that I really enjoy imagining is stacking thousands of rows of can goods in my basement. In my dreams an entire wing of the place is dedicate to the canned fruit cocktail salad I use to love so much while away on summer trips in Maine.
I can almost taste the taste of not having eaten any exotic fruits for years. In this vision I’m looking nostalgically over the Hudson Valley, over my overgrowing fields of blueberry’s and blackberry’s and wondering wistfully if in some other place (for by this time all long distance communication technology will be gone) there is another faggot on a hillside somewhere looking out at rows of pineapples dreaming of a raspberry. I will be wearing a caftan and have an incredible up do. I imagine my Apocalypse fashion being very ‘Woman of the 70’s’ inspired. In some visions I’m drinking coffee, in others I’m drinking some homebrew tea, as the likely hood that I still have fresh coffee to hands years after this apocalypse is impractical and my day dreams at times like to import a small semblance of reality. (if the dream is coffee-less, I look very rugged and have on massive fuck me army boots, IF however in the vision I do have a mug of old joe I am wearing comically fuzzy and dirty bathroom slippers with bunny ears.)
I imagine the hardest part will be the 2 weeks to 3 months after the world begins to fall apart. Its for this reason that I have begun considering downloading breaking bad and 6 feet under, as I have heard both are great and having seen neither it might be nice to have some t.v. to take my mind off it all. (Don’t worry my house runs off solar so hopefully I’ll still have the energy.) I suspect that there will be an unnecessary amount of fighting in the real world, and being not very good at this, I shall enjoy escaping into the DRAMA of a good show.
However once it all clear, once the dust settles, I think it might be very fun. I imagine Walmarts untouched by last minute shopping sprees where I, in 6 inch red stiletto heels and an open, sea foam green silk bathrobe roam the store. I shall weep performativity over specific cultural objects, such as Disney’s Ariel Princess barbie , for the first few weeks or months, in order to get my morning for humanity out of the way.
Once hardened by this outpouring of tears however I shall become unstoppable. I shall befriend the bears and the deer of the wild, I will learn to speak with Bees, I will finally look great in tank-tops.